Who to Invite?

Posted by on Mar 12, 2013

One of the most common questions we get asked as wedding coordinators is how to deal with the guest list. Often the bride and groom-to-be are able to pull together a list of close family and friends pretty easily, but then things start to get hairy. What about your parents’ friends? Who gets a plus one? Which co-workers do you invite? What about those people who invited you to their wedding 10 years ago? All of the sudden you have over 300 people on a guest list for what was supposed to be a much more intimate gathering. What to do?


First, we always like to remind a bride and groom that ultimately the wedding is about you. People should feel honored to be invited and will understand if you want to have a more intimate gathering, whether its due to personality or price tag. We recommend creating some parameters for yourself and your family. Here are a few ideas:

  • Give each of your parents’ a set number of people they can invite outside of family.
  • Only give guests a plus one if they are married, in the wedding party, engaged, or living together. (Choose some or all of the above.)
  • Be selective about who gets a plus one based on whether or not they will know a lot of other people at the wedding.
  • Only give plus ones to out of town guests.
  • Only invite people you have had personal contact with in the last certain number of years.

I personally made a rule for my wedding that if my husband or I could not greet someone by name when he or she walked through the door, then that person was not invited. That seemed a pretty reasonable rule to our parents and ended some arguments pretty quickly.

Have some more ideas about how to make your guest list a little more manageable? Leave us a comment!

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